"Why are you so behind the times?", the doubters ask. "Can't you see the picture is clearer?" My response to that is pretty much "Pay the $10 or go away so someone else can come in".
Pen15 is HDTV free. People do not come to Pen15 to watch TV, they come to live life. The people of ClubP15 know that there life will not be any richer for watching "Desperate Housewives" in HD. The only thing HDTV will do for me there is to make Terri Hatcher's face look even more like my grandma's neck than usual. In this regard, my standard def TV is acctually doing me a favor.
However, the doubters still say that you have to watch sports in HD. Well let me ask you this, have you ever gone to a sporting event in real life, and went home to tell your boys about how clearly you could see the game? Unless you are trying out a cornial implant for the first time, the chances are no...so why do we have to watch sports on TV more clearly?
Sports are good because of what happens, not how it looks. If the appea
rance of a sporting event really mattered, Randy Johnson would be a tall, left-handed grocery bagger, Sam Cassell would have gone back to his own planet, and Michael Strahan would be sucking Top Ramen between the black hole in his smile. NASCAR would be wiped right off the map, and John Daly would just be a fat, drunk scumbag instead of a rich and famous fan, drunk scumbag.
However, thanks to a magic new toy, the appearance of sports has suddenly become important. Of course the reason this has happened is the reason most useless expensive things happen; some guy has to make up for his tiny penis.
Guys do crazy shit to make up for their shriveled junk. Some guys will buy a 12 seat SUV capable of manuvering artic tundra (although he really uses it to drive to spin class), some guys will buy a hunting rifle capable of bringing down a charging passenger jet, however more and more guys are buying TVs big enough to damage the foundation in his house.
The usual rule of thumb is that for every woman who rejects a guy for sex, his TV will increase by one inch. It explains why I view most of my Tv on a video iPod, and why Lucas, the day manager at Sbarro, has a 54" plasma. The fact is, the less time a man has to devote to having a life, the more he will devote to television.
I know this will be hard to accept for some of you guys. You have gotten very attached to HDTV. Watching Braveheart in HD has made you feel things towards Mel Gibson which, although startling, just feels kind of right. Gay fantasies aside, you have to cut the cord. HDTV sucks the soul. If you have to have your soul sucked, do it the Pen15 way; by a high school girl who tells you she is 19, and then tries to move in with you after she gets in a fight with her parents about curfew.
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